Caleb does TV blogging that is only tangentially related to firearms. I sat down and watched an episode of this truly dreadful show last night. I am not kidding, there is a TV that is dedicated to the rent-a-cops servicing the Mall of America. Now look, mall security is important and I’m sure mall cops provide a valuable service (although I’ve never utilized it, whatever it is). The problem is that mall cops aren’t cops. I found myself watching the show and every time they would detain someone, I’d end up yelling at the TV “and then you wait for the real police!” Plus, every time one of the rent-a-cops would use the word “arrest”, my brain would die a little bit. Mall cops can’t arrest you. They’re not real cops. Unless your mall is one of those malls that has actual sworn, armed police officers in it, mall security cannot arrest you. In fact, they can’t even detain you if you don’t want to be detained! The worst that mall security can do to you is ask you to leave the mall premises. Which, if you don’t do, they can call the cops. The real cops. With badges and guns. The real cops who can actually arrest you.
Thus, I’m watching this last night, and the mall security guys detain some dude. I’m almost yelling at the screen, because this guy is just standing there, allowing himself to be detained. I wanted to shout “DUDE JUST LEAVE THEY CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO YOU” because the guy in question had not committed a crime. He was just a weird dude that was using the free makeup samples on himself. Which is certainly weird, but not a crime.
The moral of the story? Unless you’re actually committing a crime, mall security can’t do diddly to you. I hate this show, because the last thing we need is more rent-a-cops with a sense of authority and entitlement that they didn’t earn acting like petty dictators when they get a tiny bit of power. Although I will say this about the Mall of America security staff – they’re about 100000% more professional than any TSA screener I’ve ever encountered.





