Universal gun truths

Walther CCP and Ruger GP100

Everything in this post has been asserted as the absolute truth about guns at one time or another.

  1. Revolvers are better than semi-autos for police work
  2. Semi-autos are better than revolvers for police work
  3. Revolvers never jam
  4. Handgun stopping power is largely imaginary (this one is actually true)
  5. Competition will get you killed
  6. Competition will train you to defend yourself
  7. Tactical training classes will get you killed
  8. Tactical training classes will get you sued if you do have to shoot someone
  9. Racking a pump-action shotgun will scare badguys away
  10. 9mm will go through the badguy and the bus full of nuns behind him
  11. 1 hit from a .45 is all you need
  12. 1 hit from a .357 Magnum is all you need
  13. All you need is love
  14. Love is all you need
  15. You’ll never need more than a j-frame
  16. You should always carry a spare magazine in case you need it
  17. Always carry a knife
  18. Never carry a knife
  19. White lights will give away your position
  20. White lights are for searching and target ID, not shooting
  21. Lasers will give away your position
  22. Lasers are a crutch
  23. Lasers are awesome and make shooting easier
  24. Rifles are bad for home defense
  25. Rifles are great for home defense
  26. You should never fire more than three rounds at one badguy

That’s all of the ones I could think of right off my head, contribute your own in the comments!


  1. If you sneeze on an AR it will jam.
    You can take an AK that’s been buried in mud, piss on it to clean it off, and it’s ready to shoot.

  2. Never carry a plastic gun or holster, they’ll break in sub-zero cold. (Heard this one a lot in Minnesota in the mid to late 90’s)

  3. “Revolvers are better than semi-autos for police work.”

    Given the choice of handguns and ammo available at the time, that one was probably accurate 40+ years ago.

    I don’t hear it these days.

  4. -Girls are dumb and can’t figure out how to use anything more complex than a revolver.
    -Semiautos are too much for a girl to handle, they should use a J-frame instead.
    -“They all fall to hardball!”

  5. One of my old time favorites was that round nose rifle bullets were “brush busters” which would plow through anything to reach the target, while spitzers would deflect off a twig or leaf and tumble off into the wild blue yonder.

    The USMC conducted and published tests in the 1950’s which proved the opposite, but professors of gunology continued to write articles promoting round nose “brush busters” for decades.

  6. Someone too weak to rack a slide should get a revolver with a heavy double action trigger pull.

    1. Conversely, somebody too weak to pull the trigger on a double-action revolver should get a semi-auto pistol because somehow they’ll be able to rack a slide, and load rounds into the magazine.

      I’ve seen people who can’t do either — and don’t tell me about the “push-pull” method, because I’ve tried it with them. I don’t have a good solution to this problem.

      1. We’ve had good luck with the SIg P238 for people with arthritis or week hands. Very easy recoil spring, but still minimal felt recoil

  7. 1. The 5.56 is a good varmint round, but useless for combat or self defense.
    2. The Russian 5.45×39 is a highly lethal rifle round.
    3. AKs never jam.
    4. AR are highly unreliable.
    5. You don’t have to aim a shotgun, just point in general direction of you target and you will hit everything.

    This is fun and I wish I had time to go on with more.

  8. Managers’ Special–2 Free Guns with every Five Rooms of Installed Carpet. Hey!!, don’t get Gun Oil or Powder Residue on my New Carpet!!. I should have Bought a different color–But, this was on sale @ 50% Off.

  9. You are missing a whole bunch, yet I will help for free:

    -A .44 magnum will blow a head clean off.
    -No one can shoot precisely with a snub nosed revolver.
    -“You don’t need an AR-15. It’s harder to aim, it’s harder to use and in fact, you don’t need 30 rounds to protect yourself. Buy a shotgun, buy a shotgun.” Joe Biden
    -Only the police and military can handle guns safely.
    -“No one needs ten bullets to kill a Dear.” NY Gov. Cuomo spelling not confirmed.
    -Police are outgunned by street gangs.

    1. I ran over a Deer once with my John Deere. I just Missed my “Dear” by ‘That Much’ stepping on the Brake. My Dear hollard out–You just ran over a Deer, Dear!. I said , I know, Dear. My Dear said, Have you been Drinking Dear; No,Dear I said, the Deer was Drinking and wasn’t looking where it was going; Dear!.That poor Deer, Shit, I thought; I didn’t have a valid Deer Tag either. OK–move on.

    2. A .44 Magnum Will blow your head Clean Off–because you had a Squib Load in the barrell the last time you fired it and forgot. I used to watch the brady bunch too all the time.

    3. There IS One absolute truth though. Guns Can, Do, and will Rust when you least expect it. Its just like Painting a Bridge. If you have a lot of guns; just as you finish painting the Bridge; its time to start all over again. I’m done here.

  10. You can have too much ammunition. Wait, what? Thinkin I’d rather go home with 29/30 than bleed out on the sidewalk lacking that 8th round. But that’s just me.

    1. I think 8 mags.of 10mm is enough to carry into battle in double column persuation. I have a 1000rnds. of 10mm & .45 acp on hand @ any given time available to me. Then theres 25 bxs. shotgun loads 4 my 3 shotguns & ample suppy 4 my 5 rifles.You guessed it, I reload a lot.

  11. You shouldn;t train with ear pro because you should always “Train like you fight”. Even indoor shooting, because “You won’t have earplugs in if someone breaks into your house!” (Or, alternatively, “You won’t be wearing earplugs in combat, because then you won’t hear the ninjas sneaking up on you,” or some such rot. . . )

    “Never trust optics/anything with batteries – it will just get you killed when it fails!”

    “You should carry your revolver with the hammer on an empty chamber.” (Well, yes. . . if you have an original SAA.)

    “You should ‘Dutch load’ your gun with softpoints/hollowpoints and FMJ.”

  12. “Your first shell in a shotgun should be birdshot. After that, buckshot.”

    “Skip the first chamber in your revolver, so if your kid finds it, they have to pull the trigger twice!”

    “A steel frame Commander is too heavy to carry daily.”

    “If you shoot someone, make sure they’re dead – that way, only your side gets reported.”

    And finally. . . “The stopping power of a Starbucks latte is superior to a Beretta Jetfire.” (Well, the anecdotal data does tend to support this. . . 😉 )

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: