humor

Stupid people tricks

Posted on by Caleb

From Smallest Minority (one of my favorite sites), I’ve found this gem on “Why you shouldn’t try to rope deer”.

I’m not responsible for any coffee/beverages that you expectorate on your monitor/keyboard.

“I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up. 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it. It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer’s momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn’t want the deer to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to back in between my truck and the feeder, a little trap I had set beforehand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head.almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can’t get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking likeheaven. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling “what happened”

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear. Not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him “I was attacked by a deer.” I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there.

I asked him to call somebody to come get me. I didn’t think I could make it home on my own. He did.

Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking theheaven out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something. EVERYBODY f
or
miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider, a “city folk”, I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering “there is the ding-butt that tried to rope the deer.”

shooting

More mouseguns

Posted on by Caleb

I get a lot of links here from Mouseguns which is great, because it’s an awesome website; it’s an awesome website because it focuses on my personal favorite niche of the gun world. That of course is mouseguns (I bet you figured out where I was going with that). Wikipedia actually has a pretty decent entry on mouseguns, and of course you can always visit the website linked in the first sentence for more information.

What is a mousegun?
Well, that’s sort of a funky question; because it really depends on to whom the question is being asked. The general consensus is that it’s gun chambered for a light caliber (usually .380 or lower) that can be readily concealed and carried. Mouseguns.com moves superlight 9mm and larger caliber handguns into a category of their own, that of the “ratgun”; which I think is a great name.

Operating off the definition of a mousegun as .380 or smaller in caliber, the next defining criteria would be the weight. The Wikipedia article mentions less that 16 oz, I’ve personally heard less than 20oz, less than 18oz, and from a 1911 fan “anything not a full size 1911a1” which did make me chuckle a bit.

What I can do with a mousegun?
Well, carry it for starters. A lot of mousegun fans (myself included) are fond of saying that “a .25 that you carry is better than a .45 you leave at home”, or “the first rule of gunfighting is have a gun”. While these are true, I would say that if you can carry a big gun, you probably should. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, back to mouseguns.

The purpose behind a mousegun is generally considered to be for last ditch defense at extremely close ranges (<7 yards). I’m generally opposed to people who drop a .32 Kel-Tec in their pocket and don’t practice with it; in my opinion a mousegun requires as much (if not more) practice than a full sized or medium sized defensive pistol. The light caliber calls for well placed shots which is not facilitated by the teeny sights or the generally small grips on your average mouser. If you’ve got one and you carry it, you should practice with the thing.

Can I compete with my mousegun?
Yes and no. While Mouseguns.com has had some postal matches in the past, it’s not a regular occurrence. Additionally, at the club level at lot of IDPA matches have a “Back-up Gun” division, into which most mouseguns would fall. If you’re looking for a sanctioning body that has rules and regulations for competition specific to mouseguns, there isn’t one that I know of.

However, I’m currently working with a few friends to rectify that situation. I was griping to said friend that I couldn’t shoot my mousers in any sort of sanctioned competition, his response was “well, form a sanctioning body, you’ve been shooting for years – and the internet is a great tool.”

With that in mind, if you’re a person that would be interesting in shooting a mousegun in competition, drop me a line in the comments section or to admiralahab at gmail dot com.

Are mouseguns fun to shoot?
Damn skippy they are. The biggest downside is that you can’t buy .32 ACP ammo in the sort of bulk that you can buy 9mm ammo; but it’s not that much more expensive.

If you’re looking for more info on little guns, head over to www.mouseguns.com and start clicking around. There’s a lot of great information on them.

Uncategorized

An Inconvenient Truth

Posted on by Caleb

The Right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

It’s pretty straightforward, but it sure is inconvenient. I mean, not for us since we’re the “people” in question; but rather for those that would like to see Americans dependent on the government’s handouts. Which is for me what gun control really comes down to; a dependency issue. The people in positions of power don’t want to just take away your guns, they want to take away your ability to choose pretty much anything. They have to start with your guns because it is damn difficult to tell a man with a rifle what he can and can’t do.

It really is an issue of control. I have often said that of late, the only difference between Republicans and Democrats is what aspects of your life they want to control. I am obviously not okay with this, as I am a semi-intelligent adult, I feel as though I’m capable of making my own decisions. For instance, national health care? Thanks but no thanks. I’d rather choose the care provider that I go to. Yes, I know my choices are limited by my health insurance, but I still get to pick. Social Security? Like that’ll be around when I’m ready to retire. How about you give me the money I’m pissing down the drain on SS, and let me invest in something else, like an IRA? Gay marriage? Who fucking cares? Let ’em get married, it’d probably be good for the economy anyway; all those queens would have lavish weddings at expensive hotels. Smoking bans? Don’t want ’em. I quit smoking a while ago, and I still hate smoking bans. Let the market determine where you can smoke and where you can’t. You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I hate the anti-smoking Gestapo as much as I hate the gunbanners.

The point of all the above ranting is quite simple. I’m rather tired of the government telling me (and people like me) that some things are too dangerous for me, or that I’m not smart enough to save my money, that certain people can’t marry, or that my rifles and handguns are a threat to safety.

After all that ranting, I really wish I had a whiz-bang conclusion for this, but I sadly don’t. I see the government infringing more and more on the individual’s ability to live his or her life as they damn well please, and it concerns me. It also frightens me, as more and more people cry out for new laws and more protection from the Almighty Nanny State.

And while the Nanny State is trying to pass silly-ass laws about imaginary “Assault Weapons”; or writing resolutions in the House to call the President a doody-head, our borders are porous, we’re at war, and there are bigass potholes in a lot of our roads. If the government would stop worrying about maintaining their own power and controlling my life; and would start worrying about things that actually matter who knows? We might actually accomplish something.

hoplophobia/humor

Get your jollies

Posted on by Caleb

From the Onion.

I found it on some other blogger’s site, I just don’t bloody remember who it was. So to whomever I’m ripping off, I’m sorry.

The satirical piece did make me thing of something though. I have some friends who are in favor of gun control, but what me to take them shooting. Of course I will as I’m hoping to change their opinions. They’re sort of like the real version of the person in the story – while they’re not a fan of guns in general, they’re fascinated by the concept of firearms and curious about what draws me to them.

People like that are an opportunity to create some new shooters. Especially if you give them something cool to play with.

Uncategorized

Musing on the new AWB

Posted on by Caleb

While I desperately hope that this new AWB (HR 1022 – oh the irony) will not pass into law; I just read the text for the first time and I was struck by a number of odd provisions on things that will become illegal.

  1. My Walther P22 – since it wasn’t purchased in Kalifornistan, it has a threaded barrel. Illegal.
  2. A Broomhandle Mauser – as it accepts a magazine in somewhere other than the pistol grip.
  3. All AR style pistols, including the Kel-Tec pistol. Same problem as the Mauser.
  4. Due to some interesting language, they managed to nail the SKS without actually nailing the SKS. And you certainly can’t modify it to get detachable magazines.
  5. The folding stock mod for 10/22s. There isn’t any language in the bill that says “Oh yeah, this doesn’t apply to your .22s.”
  6. This bill even would affect C&R collectors, as it nails basically any semi-automatic rifle designed for “military purposes”, and even includes the Dragunov (bastards!).

That’s all that really jumped out at me. I’m going to go the opposite route of everyone who is stockpiling ARs and hi-caps – I’m going to stockpile military bolt actions and ammo. Because you know that “Sniper Rifles” are next.

shooting

Silly little bullets

Posted on by Caleb

“A .22 in the eye beats a .45 in the forearm” was the response that I was given by a 20+ year Coast Guard warrant officer when I had the cojones to ask him about the relative stopping power of the 9mm that we were using. What he was saying to me was that shot placement was the critical factor in puttingbadguys where they belong.

I love it when people talk about “stopping power”; it’s one of the subjects in the gun world where thousands of pages have been written and yet very little has been said. I’m not an expert on stopping power, and I’m certainly not going to say that “bullet X stopsbadguys better than bullet Y”; that’s just asking for trouble.

Ambulance Driver’s post on the Mechanism of Injury got me thinking about how a handgun bullet actually kills a person (I’m leaving rifle bullets out of this one). You’ll note I said “kill” and not “stop”; while everyone agrees that the purpose of a defensive shooting is to “stop” the fight, the most efficient way to “stop” someone is to make them DRT. Plus, saying “kill” as opposed to “stop” is so delightfully un-PC that it makes me a wee-bit happier than I should be. However, I should note that “killing” your assailant does you no good if he dies from slowly bleeding to death after clubbing you into oblivion with a 2×4. So, if I say “kill” I mean “Kill dead right there”.

The question of how a handgun bullet kills someone is best looked at by examining the human anatomy. The body is an extremely efficient machine for moving oxygen to the brain so the brain can send nervous signals to the body. Disrupting the Central Nervous system (spine, brain) will generally produce a stop. The brain cannot operate without a steady flow of oxygenated blood cells, which are supplied by the heart and lungs. Additionally, hits on major arteries (such as the femoral) produce rapid blood loss, which will eventually shut down the brain.

Based on the above, it’s a relatively safe assumption that the most efficient way to produce a DRT badguy is to hit either the heart, lungs, spine, or brain. This is the basis for the primary target zone on human assailants being “center of mass” – this also happens to be where the heart, lungs and part of the spine is located. We’ll temporarily remove theheadshot from the equation, and consider only COM shots for now.

To reach one those vital pieces of tissue, you must have a bullet that penetrates enough. If your round won’t go deep enough (sometimes through arms, leather jackets and other mediums), it’s not going to get the job done. So…penetration is important. Of course, even if you penetrate deep enough, you need to hit something important – the best way of increasing your chances to do that would be to use a larger diameter bullet. If you have two bullets: Bullet X is .32 inches indiamter , and Bullet Y is .45 inches in diameter, and each bullet penetrates tissue to a depth of 10 inches, (assuming a perfectly tubular cavity) then Bullet Y is going to be a better choice. It crushes a wider diameter of tissue for each inch of penetration, thus increasing your chances of putting a hole in something valuable.

So, it would seem that I’m advocating using the biggest bullet you can that penetrates deep enough to get the job done. As a matter of fact, that’s exactly what I’m saying. But I’m going to add the caveat that it doesn’t matter how big your bullet is if you can’t hit a goddamn thing with it.

Which brings me to my final point, and if you’ve read my blog before it’s a familiar drum for me to beat. Practice. Practice. Practice. If you’re going to carry a gun for self-defense, practice with it. Get some training. ShootIDPA . Shoot cans. Shoot shoot shoot shoot. If you’ve got a different gun for home defense than you do for carry, practice with them both. Practice your draw. GET TRAINING. In the off chance that you actually do need to deposit some high-velocity particles into a person’s main deck, you need to hit them for it to count.

John Wayne carried a .45, and thank to the magic of movies, he rarely missed. In Big Jake, he gives his “grandson” a Remington O/U Derringer. What would John Wayne do? He’d use the biggest gun that he could to place accurate hits onbadguys.