I am a frequent browser on Imgur, because I like funny memes and laughing at things. Every now and then, there will be some firearms or self-defense related content, which I usually immediately skip over because it’s terrible. Usually whatever it is comes from someone with the same depth of knowledge and training as a puddle in Arizona, meaning that the best thing for my blood pressure is to just skip it and move on. However, a couple of days ago imgur user flubby1982 posted the following thread, and I just couldn’t deal with it.
I screencapped everything in case it gets deleted after this, so if you didn’t click the link, here it is in all its terrible glory:
I actually tried to explain this in the comments on imgur, but character limits make it hard to convey complex ideas, which is why I wanted to write an actual blog post explaining, in graphic detail, what an idiot ol’ flubby1982 is. Of course by this point, anyone who’s taken ECQC or had any training with Managing Unknown Contacts can already see multiple, glaring failures in flubby’s “problem solving.” However, we’re going to go through them all in detail. It’s important to bear in mind as well that the original poster thought he handled the situation well, and many of the dumbdicks in the comments agreed with him. Anyway, here we go.
Failure 1: Not driving away
So our intrepid idiot is driving to the gym, gets cut off, and has a normal reaction of shaking his head in frustration at the dude. All of that is fine, the other dude (referred to as Mustang from here out) allegedly flips his gourd. At this point, the smartest thing you can do is keep your eyes on the road and drive away. In the comments OP alleges he was blocked in by other cars or something, which is fine…once traffic starts moving, you drive away. If you’re worried for your safety, drive to a police station.
Failure 2: Antagonizing
Instead of doing the smart thing and just driving off, flubberino decides to 1) laugh the guy, then 2) blow him a kiss. Look, if I have to explain to you why antagonizing an already demonstrably unstable person in a car is a bad idea, this isn’t the blog for you. But seriously, this is dumb. So dumb.
Failure 3: Not driving away again
Now we’ve reached the point where Mustang cuts flubb off again, and this time apparently exits his vehicle and approaches flubb’s car. Hey cool, he’s stopped you’re not drive the fuck away you dumb asshole. But no, because flubbs has A Gun! And since he has A Gun and a CCW Permit, all problems can be solved with that!
Failure 4: Initiates deadly force when it wasn’t justified
So because flubbs is a dumb asshole who thinks his CCW permit is a Batman badge, he pulls his gun. It’s unclear, but I’m gathering from context that flubbs the dumb asshole (FTDA) was still in his car when this part occured, because it says that Mustang then went back to his car. Guess what FTDA does. Just guess. If it’s “the dumbest thing you can imagine” you’d be right.
Failure 5: NOT FUCKING DRIVING AWAY AGAIN GOOD LORD YOU IDIOT
So Mustang gets back in his car and for a brief moment it looks like FTDA is going to do something smart. He doesn’t. Mustang is following him, and the smart thing to do in this situation would be “call 911 from your cell phone and drive to the nearest police station.” Nope! Let’s not do that. Let’s not do that all. Instead let’s PULL OVER IN A PARKING LOT AND HAVE A CONFRONTATION
Failure 6: PULLS OVER IN A PARKING LOT AND HAS A CONFRONTATION
Yep! FTDA decides that his gun and Batman permit mean he should detain this guy, so he pulls over and GETS OUT OF THE CAR. ARE YOU SERIOUS. Anyway, FTDA gets out of his car with his gun drawn, and they have their verbal confrontation, which miraculously doesn’t result in anyone getting shot. FTDA is very lucky here, because sometimes people aren’t impressed when you point guns at them, and then what were his options, just shoot an unarmed person?
Failure 7: Not having any options other than a gun
When I imagine FTDA, he’s probably in his mid to late 30s, overweight, never taken a class beyond whatever his permit required, and is generally ignorant of self defense concepts beyond “hyuck hyuck I got thishere Taurus PT111 ima shoot ‘em.” While everything he did up to and including getting out of the car was a mistake, once he was out of the car you know what would have been a good idea? Pepper spray. Way better choice in this situation than a handgun. But no, because flubbs is a dumb asshole.
Anyway, the cops come, no one gets arrested, and in a miracle, no one gets shot. Despite FTDA’s many stupid choices, he gets lucky and doesn’t have to shoot someone who really didn’t need or deserve to be shot. But because he had a positive outcome, FTDA has one final failure.
Failure 8: posting about it on social media
Now that FTDA has had a lucky outcome, he takes to social media so he can feel cool about getting to pull his gun. Good job, you fucking halfwit. Now when you do end up shooting someone, justified or not, any half decent prosecutor is going to pull your imgur post, and hopefully this blog post, to point out that you’re a trigger happy idiot who doesn’t have any business carrying a gun, because you like to create conflict instead of de-escalating.
Summary: Drive away, don’t escalate the situation, and don’t get out of the fucking car. Don’t be a dumb asshole like flubbs.