I grew up at the ass-end of the Mojave Desert, and if memory serves me, it only snowed twice during the 15 years that I can remember. I hate winter, and I hate the snow.
Mostly, I hate people who drive in the snow. This applies especially to the driver of the gold Honda minivan who felt it was necessary to tailgate me for 3 miles on a two lane road that was covered in slush and ice. If you read this Mr. Gold Honda, you’re a jerkoff.
I can appreciate the aesthetic beauty of snow…from inside my house with a hot cup of coffee.
Unfortunately, I have not yet mastered the mental skill that will allow me to coalesce my hatred of winter into a beam of pure hate which is capable of melting snow. When I do, I’ll quit my job and higher myself out to Hamilton County – that way they’ll have someone on staff who actually clears roads, instead of just running one snowplow down the main road once.
All the different places I’ve lived have had different reactions to winter.
Antelope Valley, CA: “What’s this stuff falling from the sky? Eh, who cares it’ll be gone in 20 minutes anyway.”
New London, CT: “Hey, it’s probably going to snow like 400 feet overnight. Classes are still on for tomorrow.”
Purdue University, IN: “Hey, the winter storm is going to cover the ground in ice and shit. Instead of salting, we’re going to run high speed brushes over the sidewalks to ‘brush off the snow’, but all that will actually do is polish the snow into ice and turn the whole damn campus into a skating rink. I hope you like broken ankles. Classes are still on.”
DC/Metro Area: “OH GOD AN INCH OF SNOW CLOSE ALL THE ROADS AND SCHOOLS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.”*
Indy/Metro Area: “It’s going to snow about 4 inches overnight. Don’t worry, we can assure you that we won’t even start to plow or salt until it’s too late to actually be effective, ensuring that your morning drive to work will be complicated by closed roads and cars sliding off the roads.”
So yeah. I hate winter.
*Note – this is how every piece of news in the DC/Metro area is reported.