What your carry gun says about you

There are lots of choices out there for carry guns, and because each gun is a personal choice your carry gun is a statement, whether or not you feel it is.  It says something about you.


What you think it says: “I am suave, sophisticated pistolero that will only carry the finest in defensive handguns.”

What it actually says: “I really enjoy buying spare parts and endlessly testing magazines to make sure they work with my archaic firearm.”


What you think it says: “I am a serious shooter, dedicated to my sport and self defense and so I carry the most popular firearm in law enforcement.”

What it actually says: “I didn’t want to do any actual research before buying a gun, so I just bought this hunk of plastic.”

Smith & Wesson M&P

What you think it says: “I am a smart shooter!  While I value the durability and lightweight of the polymer pistols, you should be able to customize your firearm for your hand size, which is why I carry an M&P.”

What it actually says: “The store was out of Glocks and the guy said this was like a Glock only better.”


What you think it says: “I am an elite shooter.  This is the weapon of choice of Navy SEALs, and that means it’s awesome, so I’M AWESOME.”

What it actually says:  “Long trigger pulls are okay with me!  First shot accuracy isn’t important anyway, it’s all about volume of fire!”


What you think it says:  “Carrying this pistol means I’m serious about pistol-craft!  I am a civilian WARRIOR.”

What it actually says:  “I suck, and my gun hates me.”


What you think it says:  “This is a more elegant weapon from a more civilized age; I am a connoisseur of firearms akin to the Jedi Knights and their lightsabers.”

What it actually says:  “I have trouble counting past six, and having a lot of ammo in a gunfight isn’t that important to me.”

A Taurus

What you think it says:  “While budget conscious, I am able to spot a deal on a quality firearm and take advantage of it.”

What it actually says:  “Herp-derp.”

What does your carry gun say about you?


  1. XD:

    What you think it says: “I want the durability and capacity of the polymer framed gun, but with the ergonomics of the legendary 1911.”

    What it actually says: “I want to have a popular black gun, but still show my independent streak by getting a different black gun than everyone else.”

    (that really hurt to type)

  2. LCP/P3AT

    What you think it says: “I have wisely opted for the gun I’ll always have with me because it’s so darned easy to conceal. People who carry .45s or double-stacked 9mms are suckas!”

    What it actually says: “I like cute guns and I don’t really care if the thing does the job or not.”

  3. Kahr

    What you think it says: “I have sophisticated tastes, and I appreciate fine craftsmanship and superior engineering.”

    What it actually says: “I have more money than brains. Oh, and the Asian chick in the ad was hot.”

  4. 3rd Gen S&W auto.

    What you think it says: Smith & Wesson is a time honored and popular, high-quality gun.

    What it really says: I love scouring the world for impossible to find and expensive accessories. And magazines. And don’t even mention holsters.

  5. Ruger LCP:

    What you think it says: I have the perfect carry gun, so small and lightweight that I can carry it everywhere. The governor of Texas shot a coyote with one, so it must be cool.

    What it actually says: I don’t train or practice realistically, and I probably don’t practice or train at all. Unless my attacker is really close, gives me lots of pre-attack cues and time to draw from my ‘cheapest I could find’ pocket holster, and is scared off by the sound of gunfire, my odds of survival in a real fight are lousy, even though I believe they are pretty good, just because I “have a gun”.

  6. What, no NAA entry?

    What you think it says: I’m at least fulfilling the requirement to have a gun.

    What it actually says: 5 shots of .22LR? Single Action? Hope you’ve got a good insurance plan.

  7. Kimber

    What you think it says: “I am suave, sophisticated pistolero that will only carry the finest in defensive handguns.”

    What it actually says: “I am a suave,sophisticated Pistol .How the hell did I get paired up with some guy named..Wally ! ?

  8. You are right on with the 1911. I actually DO enjoy buying spare parts and endlessly testing magazines!! I’ve got to get a life…

  9. HK P30:

    What you think it says: “I prefer utter reliability with no compromises in my carry weapon. Past HK’s have had the ergonomics of a slightly rounded off brick, so HK hit it out of the park with the P30.”

    What it actually says: “I’M BATMAN. TO THE BATMOBILE!”

  10. Steyr M9-A1:

    What I…whoops…what YOU think it says:

    I took the path (much) less traveled and bought a gun as technologically advanced as it is underrated and unknown!! Triangular sights and 111′ grip angles are the future of firearms!! Glock has sown the seeds of its own doom by not seeing the glorious genius that is Wilhelm Bubits!!

    What it actually says:

    I secretly enjoyed the years of self inflicted agony waiting for this pistol to come back to America after it flopped royally the first time. I certainly don’t mind living under the constant fear that the gun will flop once again and I’ll be right back to the bad old days of scavenging for parts…

  11. Chiappa Rhino:

    What you think it says:

    The hexagonal cylinder makes it slightly more concealable than a typical revolver and the upside down barrel arrangement makes it easier for me to control. Plus, it looks unique and intimidating– I won’t be like anyone else at the range!

    What it actually says:

    I am a 40 year old Otaku who spent all my money on figurines of sexy anime babes– so I missed out on getting a Mateba Unica, but this looks close enough to Togusa’s gun from Ghost In The Shell that I can keep this in my basement without having my mom get angry. Owning this gun is a step closer to dating a girl who looks like Motoko Kusanagi.

  12. Unloaded long rifle.

    What you think it says:
    The 2nd Amendment is da bomb.

    What it actually says:
    I live in California.

  13. HK P7

    What you think it says: “It doesn’t matter that it gets too hot to shoot after two magazines, because I’m only going to make headshots anyway.”

    What it actually says: “I have discovered thebeltman.net!”(Nobody else I know of makes a belt that is both horsehide and reinforced, and therefore stiff enough to actually carry this butt-heavy chunk of steel.)

    Also: “I suck and you hate me. Here’s $60 for a spare magazine.”


    What you think it says: “I want to carry a sophisticated European double-stack 9mm, but I’m still red-blooded American enough to prefer an all-steel gun with John M. Browning’s 1911 manual of arms.”

    What it actually says: “I couldn’t figure out how to get the magazine safety out of a Hi-Power.”

  14. Interesting post coming off your “Please don’t do that” post…and don’t get me wrong, I know this is your attempt at humor, but posting an article that essentially says every gun is wrong in someway or everyone that buys a gun deals with shortcomings (or fails to do any research) is terribly misguided.

    Reminds me of what I didn’t like about Top Shot when some of the top shooters in the world begin complaining that the gun isn’t accurate (not everyone did this)…but I recall a few people who were saying the gun shoots left, the gun shoots high, etc. For folks that don’t shoot and don’t know any better, this feeds their attitude that guns are even more dangerous because if a top shooter can’t hit what he’s aiming at because the gun isn’t accurate, what hope is there for my neighbor who shoots twice a month…especially now since you joke about someone buying a Glock because they don’t want to do any research or first shots don’t matter…

    By the way, you missed one: tricked out totally customized guns used in competitions: I am so great, a gun company specially made this for me and there isn’t another one like it.

    What it actually says: my trigger finger is incredibly weak and can’t handle a standard trigger pull, heck, I couldn’t hit anything if all this extra stuff wasn’t added to my gun to make it easier to shoot.

  15. FNP-9

    What I think it says: First on my block to find a gun with built-in-the-USA quality, easy to maintain, light weight, large capacity and a pleasure to shoot.

    What it really says: First on my block to buy a gun with built-in-the-USA quality, easy to maintain, light weight, large capacity and a pleasure to shoot.

  16. Mosin Nagant

    What you think it says: I respect the shooters of old, and the skill that it takes to snipe with iron sights in below freezing temperatures. This rifle will last forever, and I will shoot it until the end of time.

    What it actually says: The local sporting goods store was selling these for $99!

  17. Taurus Judge

    What you think it says: Watermelons and perps beware, I have the ultimate defensive firearm at my side.

    What it really says: I couldn’t hit a 5″ plate at 25 feet with one bullet, might as well not hit it with three or five pellets.

  18. How is this post positive in any way? Are you just trying to make people mad? What is your point?

  19. I take offense! I researched the ballistic properties and damage potential of .357 SIG,as well as the reliability and simplicity of operating a Glock.

    What I failed to research was the cost and availability of .357 SIG ammo . . . . oops.

  20. Yep, Dave, we’re just kidding around. I carry a revolver, so I guess I can’t count past six! Oh well.

  21. PPK

    What you hope it says is I appreciate fine workmanship, heritage and concealability with a round that when properly used can be more than adequate for self defense…

    What it really says is Sean Connery is soo the man and no way can I afford an Austin Martin.

    The Taurus one wins though. “herp derp” Classic

  22. Beretta 92FS

    What you think it says: “I carry the most battle tested combat hand gun used by the US military.”

    What it actually says: “I scored a good deal on a used police trade in when they upgraded to Glocks.”

  23. To dave and Bman: dudes, chill out. These are jokes. If you don’t like them, that’s cool. For the record, my usual carry gun pre Quest for Master Class is a revolver…because I have trouble counting past six.

    To everyone else: I am laughing heartily, keep ’em coming!

  24. Keltec pistols:

    What you think it says: I support an innovative American company that makes unique, easy to carry, inexpensive firearms!

    What it actually says: I have a close, personal relationship with my local FedEx office.

  25. Hi-Point

    What you think it says: “I am a frugal buyer who has purchased a reliable handgun for a very reasonable price.”

    What it actually says: “I am a Kool-Aid drinking goof who is shooting a pot metal turd.”

  26. Definitely all in good fun an HI-larious. In fact I posted the Kahr entry because that is exactly what I carry. If you can’t laugh at yourself …

  27. Hi-Point

    What you think it says: “I’m poor and this was the best handgun I could afford that wasn’t a .22lr or possibly broken antique in a weak out of production cartridge. I feel that being poor shouldn’t prevent me from exercising my right to self defense and this gun is at least in a common self defense caliber.”

    What it actually says: “I like to be the butt of everyones jokes and derision. Please question my sanity and sexual orientation at every available opportunity for purchasing a gun that is ugly, made of inferior materials and sold so cheaply it can hardly be considered a firearm at all.

    Disclamer: I don’t own one but know folks who do. Hi-points are admittedly an inferior firearm but sometimes I get fed up with folks who often forget that there are those who can’t afford anything better and I believe we all have the right to the tools of self defense regardless of financial standing. I’ve no problem with encouraging folks to buy better if possible and educating about the pros and cons of such a firearm. I just get tired of the derision i see directed at owners in the gun community as if we could all afford a high end production pistol.

  28. Walther P99:

    P99s are respectable pistols. P99 owners are serious, upstanding, productive members of society with nothing funny or humorous about them at all. The End.

  29. Desert Eagle .50 AE

    What you think it says: “I am one bad-ass gangSTAR, baby. Bling-bling.”

    What it actually says: “I like to watch movies.”

  30. Cobra Patriot:

    What you think it says:

    All those other gunnies wasted big money and sacrificed power with their carry pistols.

    What it really says:

    I have never shot or dry fired my carry gun.

    Derringer of any make:

    What you think:

    Small and concealable with adequate power. Don’t see why I’d need more than two shots.

    What it says is:

    I have never shot my carry gun, and if I have I’ve never shot a proper gun.

    Great post! And I carry a revolver and a 1911. Tho I’ve had great luck with parts and magazines.

  31. I carry a 1911 and it says I wanted more punch than my 380 Star that I used to carry before running into a Black Bear in the middle of State College PA!

    In deer season I often carry my 44 mag revolver around as my carry gun, ever walk thru town wearing a BIG revolver on your hip? Get some strange looks!
    Fact I carry about 40 rounds on the gun belt probably doesn’t help much either.
    Was in the local grocery store and the manager (who I knew fairly well) asked me if it was loaded, I answered “Of course! It makes a lousy club un-loaded.”

  32. BTW, It’s a 8″ barreled Ruger RedHawk, only complaint is the dang cylinder rotates the wrong way!

    (anyone Know why Ruger does that???)

  33. Rohrbaugh
    What you think it says: I appreciate and am willing to pay handsomely for hand fitted precision and full 9mm power in a tiny package that can actually be concealed.

    What it actually says: You hope every gunfight will end within six shots (like a revolver guy) since you can’t reload due to the bottom mag catch and having to pick your gun up off the ground after every shot because the slick, no-clothing-drag surfaces let the gun be ripped out of your hand from 9mm recoil.

    And I own and carry one that has skateboard tape on the front and backstraps

  34. Sig P250

    What you think it says:
    I have a modular firearm that is infinitely customizable to fit any need

    What it really says:
    I still play with Legos

  35. So do I. Having two young sons means always having an excuse to play with Legos. 🙂

    Actually, my four year old will pick up a half-dozen random pieces of Lego, snap them together and say “Dad, look at my new gun!”


    I’m so proud…

  36. When my nieces come over they like to make a mess of mine. 🙁
    I always go through the area with a fine toothed comb to make sure none get lost.

  37. *laughs*

    I meant to respond to this yesterday but I was swamped both at work and home, as well as having a pretty crappy day, but this helped make things a little easier. So, here are a couple of more contributions for your list:

    S&W Model 22A

    What you think it says: I own an economical pistol that the entire family can enjoy from one of the finest gunmakers in the U.S..

    What it actually says: I wished to get a S&W .22LR pistol but could not afford a Model 41. -_-

    S&W K-Frame .357 Combat Magnum in 3 or 2.5 inch

    What you think it says: I own a proven firearm who Bill Jordan helped design

    What it actually says: I am a machoist, shooting Magnum or +P, and love that my gun breathes fire

    As a side note this was my very first handgun I ever bought from a friend of my daddy who carried it while in law enforcement and one of my most cherished possessions. I’ve not shot him in quite awhile but I’m hoping that I can find some new loads that will tame the rather stout recoil.

  38. One thing about those 22A guns – they machine the barrels on the same tooling they use for the 41s, which means that the 22A is stupidly accurate for the price you pay.

  39. Caleb,

    That was something I was not aware of. Don’t get me wrong I do not regret the purchase but I would be lying if I said I did not LOATHE the $#%@!&! mag release being in the center of the handgrip. Every time I do not shoot it for awhile and I go out to the range with it I have to re-learn how to drop magazines all over again. -_-

    Still, very interesting information!

  40. Ruger SP101:

    What you think it says: I bought the world’s toughest compact .357 magnum. I can conceal this thing easily, yet shoot 5 Grizzly bears dead and beat the 6th to death with my empty gun.

    What it really says: I carry the world’s heaviest .38 Special because defensive +P rounds are perfectly adequate, and I had no idea shooting .357 magnum would hurt so bad.

  41. CZ 75B:

    What you think it says: I chose this because someone told me it’s the most popular handgun in the world, and the accuracy for a $400 gun is as good as any $2000 match pistol.

    What it really says: I secretly paid $600, and I’m pretty sure a gritty trigger has no effect on accuracy. I’m also not into the whole “detail stripping” thing because this gun has more tiny springs than a Swiss watch.

  42. I love my 1911.but I gotta admit its got more aftermarket parts than stock and took a while to get right.

  43. let me rephrase that.
    What you think it says
    Oooh gold cup national match

    What it really says
    Time to buy
    wolff springs
    wilson combat mags
    file the feed ramp
    Ok I only ever wanted to shoot 230 hardball anyway
    Still love it though

  44. Detonics .45

    What you think it says: I appreciate the fine workmanship of an American company that has improved so greatly on John Browning’s classic pistol.

    What it really says: It doesn’t matter that the company goes broke more regularly than Congress raises taxes. I never know if I’m getting a gun hand-assembled and tuned by expert gunsmiths or Mexican roofers.

  45. P-64. 9×18 Makarov
    What I think it says: Same size and operation as ppk, peppier cartridge, NO hp’s (I care more about penetration with these baby rounds) AND a 2 1/2 lb single action trigger! For less than $200!
    What it really says: You’re cheap, weird, and so what if it shoots golf ball sized groups at 5 yds without sights (okay personal bias bled through)

  46. CZ-82

    What you think it says:
    I trust my life to a proven, reliable,all-metal pistol, even though the round it fires is underpowered compared to today’s modern cartridges.

    What it really says:
    In Soviet Russia, pistol packs you!

  47. BERSA Thunder 9

    What you think it says: Too cheap to buy a real gun.

    What is really says: I’m a leftie and it’s hard to find a decent pistol that works for me.

  48. Beretta 96

    What I..err..you think it says: “You and your pistol bow to my master for I am the ultimate in reliability, accuracy, and power. I really am Poseidon’s own trident.”

    What it really says: “Hey, this guy thinks back problems are fun, he carries me all day! Sucker could have settled for my skinier, lighter cousin and gotten the same bang for his buck.”

  49. Another one for the CZ-82:

    What you think it says: It’s like a Makarov, but better, because it has Czechnology!

    What it really says: You’re cheap. And you bought the gun because you’re Czech. But I repeat myself…

  50. Ruger LCP

    What you think it says: I can have a gun with me anywhere no matter how I’m dressed!

    What it really says: My boyfriend bought me a gun.

  51. Surefire E2D LED Defender

    What you think it says: I carry one of the world’s brightest handheld, pocketable lights because it will run as well and as long as my Glock even if the vehicle it’s in totally explodes or it freezes in saltwater for like a week!

    What it really says: Afraid of the dark.

  52. Glock

    What you think it says: I place the utmost faith in the impeccable reliability, safety and simplicity of Glock handguns – all guns should be so good.

    What it really says: I’m so lazy I only clean guns by throwing them field-stripped into a dishwasher about every 5000 rounds.

  53. Saiga-12

    What you think it says: I am Duke f-ing Nukem!

    What it really says: You are Duke f-ing Nukem and the Terminator had better watch out.

  54. I have a full size 1911 and carry it every day , wouldent have it any other way.. BUT I am getting its little brother colt defender 22 oz..

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