Girls with guns: Trash-fire Tuesday

Content warning, mildly NSFW image below the jump. Now that’s out of the way for the ninnies, what the hell am I looking at here?

girls with guns garbage fire

What’s the quote from the Supreme Court justice? Something like I can’t define porn, but I know it when I see it? If that’s the case, then yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s porn. What’s funny is that you can actually do “hot chicks with guns in bikinis” in a way that doesn’t come off like something you’d find in a shady house in Simi Valley, just look at the Hot Shots calendar. It’s slutty and a little trashy sure, but it’s not aggressively trashy and weird like this kind of stuff.

I mean sure, we can acknowledge the obvious problem of her finger being on the trigger, but that’s honestly not what makes this image so bad. This is the sort of thing you imagine some morbidly obese neckbeard in stained sweatpants looking at and grunting between gasps of air through his CPAP machine “oh yeah, that’s hot.” It’s a nasty mental image of the sort of person that likes this kind of stuff. I feel icky. Of course, it’s hard to nail down exactly what it is that makes this picture so particularly trashy, but I’ll take a stab (ha ha) at it.

Leopard print bikini? Yeah, that doesn’t help your team. Bad and obviously fake boob job? Also bad. The dead-behind-the eyes open mouthed look on her face of someone who was touched one too many times by her creepy uncle? Definitely. Production quality that looks like the models and photographers were paid in meth? That too.

For the record, here’s an example of how to do “attractive woman in a bikini with gun” in a way that isn’t nasty and creepy:

hot shots calendar

Maybe the difference really is in the production values.


  1. Look at the bottom of the M-16 mag. in your “trashy” picture: It’s fake. The whole rifle appears to be a GI-issue “rubber duck” bayonet trainer.

    Now you know why you feel so cheap looking at it.

    1. You can send it here:

      Attn: Go Fuck Yourself
      13 Piece of Shit Ave
      Banhammer, CA 93591

      No, seriously. That was almost 10 years ago fuckwit, and I’m sick and fucking tired of hearing about it.

      1. That address should read:

        I’m from Doodie Project
        1983 I say I hate Caleb but I talk about him a lot
        Probably because I’m gay for him, CA 93591

        For the amount of time I spend talking about how much I don’t like Caleb, I took time out of my day to come to his blog and leave a comment! I really got him this time!

  2. Well, it looks like it’s porn because it is porn. From a porn site called Actiongirls. I don’t think it was ever intended to be anything other than porn. That blue dot on the lower right hand corner is actually blotting out the Actiongirls copyright bug. I don’t know the *ahem* model’s name, but other industrious scientists out there will probably figure it out.

    Prurient interests aside, that site is a treasure trove of “HOW TO NOT HANDLE FIREARMS” that may make you laugh, cry or both.

    (and if you don’t want the site mentioned, which I completely understand, just redact it)

  3. Regardless of what the pictures are of, any clue why they continuously shrink to the vanishing point in my browser?

    I mean, they literally get smaller and smaller, with the words shifting up the page, until there is only words…

  4. I understand the need to be politically correct under some circumstances, especially as a public figure, but each to their own.

    Ladies (we assume) with guns – yawn. Let’s not make a Supreme Court case of this sort of thing. Each to their own.

  5. So you deleted my comment about your math being off regarding “That was almost 10 years ago fuckwit,” and you modified Joe’s comment from 2010 to 2008 to help support your reply? Google has your cached blog post as “Get your Gun Nuts 2010 Calendar by Caleb • December 7, 2009 • 12 Comments”. Maybe it took a year to get this calendar together so in your mind it was “almost 10 years ago”, no big deal. But I have to roll my eyes when you modified Joe’s comment and deleted mine to support your’s.

    I like this blog, in fact this is the only blog I subscribe to. I like your writing also, it’s professional and well thought out, it is on point and you lay your arguments out nicely. You speak your mind. I might not always agree with them but they are well written and I respect that. I actually don’t loose respect for you when you get wrapped around the axle and make comments like “Attn: Go Fuck Yourself” but I do loose respect when you modify the conversation. A conversation that you instigated with such an negative comment. I get it, it’s your blog and you can say whatever you want. I think a better road to go down would be to just admit that your calendar in 2010 was not your proudest business decision and that you have learned from it and have have grown since. Who could argue with that?

    1. Probably because I’ve discussed that fucking calendar to death, and have already eaten crow over it years ago.

      I also modified Joe’s comment because he’s a fucking troll. His comment history here is atrocious, so I have absolutely no qualms whatsoever about jacking with his nonsense. I’m honestly surprised that I’ve not banned him.

    1. you DGAF because you are just a hack blogger with no illusions of actually providing any content of real value.

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