Fanboy logic

Gun fanboys are great. They’re capable of levels of cognitive dissonance at times that hurt my brain. Here are some of my favorite examples.

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AK Fanboy logic
Cheap AR15 malfunctions: “All ARs are crap”

WASR-10 malfunctions: “It’s not a real AK, that’s why it didn’t work right. A real AK works even if you only lube it with pee.”

1911 Fanboy logic
Glock with aftermarket parts malfunctions: “Lol Glocks are junk.”

1911 with aftermarket parts malfunctions: “It’s because you deviated from the true design of John Moses Browning, if you hadn’t put all that extra stuff on there it’d be fine.”

Stopping power fanboy logic
On 9mm: “A puny .355 inch bullet has no stopping power and won’t drop badguys!”

On .357 Magnum: “A .357 is the king of one-shot stops!”

Glock fanboy logic
About his gun: “Glocks never malfunction! They’re Perfection! I’m just going to replace the sights, add a Lone Wolf 3.5 lb connector, fix the magwell, and cut the slide for an RMR.”

About other guns: “Your guns suck, look at all the junk you have to buy to make it work right for you!”

Tactical fanboy logic
About lights and lasers: “You shouldn’t put a light or a laser on your gun because you’ll give away your position.”

About shotguns: “Pumping the slide on a shotgun will scare any intruder out of your house!”

Post your own to comments!


    1. ^THIS. It’s like Apple fanboys who think their iPad is the best thing ever built…until a new version comes out, then the one they have is immediately considered junk.

  1. “All AR’s are the same, there’s really only one or two companies that actually make them for everyone else. You’re just paying for a name.”

    Most of the time that I’ve seen guns choke in competition, it’s because they had a fair number of aftermarket parts in them. The more other-than-factory parts there were, the less reliable they were in matches….or they were somebody’s poor copy of a well known design.

  2. Stopping power fanboy logic

    On 9mm: “A puny .355 inch bullet has no stopping power and won’t drop badguys!”

    On .357 Magnum: “A .357 is the king of one-shot stops!”

    I actually heard this from the same person. The chief something-or-other at the gun club, he was a retired cop — probably retired several decades before.

    I overheard him talking to somebody about “stopping power” (sic). He said that “the problem with the 9mm is that it goes too fast”, whatever that means. But a minute later, he was extolling the virtues of Super Vel’s .357 Magnum loads.

  3. Taurus Fanboy :My gun’s just as good as yours, but costs half as much! And the safety fell off,but LIFETIME WARRANTY yo!

    Gun-fu Fad Fanboy:I dont keep my finger out of the trigger becauz tactical, but I look like John Wick dancing around with my pistol! MMA+10″ pattern @ .75 yards = superior threat environment management!

  4. Pistol Benchrest Accuracy Logic

    “I would never carry “Model X” gun, I read in a magazine it only will shoot a 3″ group at 25 yards.
    (After shooting a 20 inch group at 10 yards with their own carry gun) “Combat Accurate”

  5. Student: Glocks never malfunction
    Me: All guns eventually fail in some way
    Me: Give me 5 reps of 3 to the B8
    Student’s Glock: has multiple FTFeed, FTExtract, FTEject
    Student: If you hadn’t said anything

  6. “I’m not comfortable with a cocked-and-locked 1911.”

    “My Glock is perfectly safe to appendix carry.”

  7. H&K Fanboy:

    You see, once you include the aftermarket parts to make a Glock 19 or S&W M&P as awesome as my P30, they end up being the same price anyways.

    Why can’t I find aftermarket parts for my P30?!?!


  8. 9mm is useless and will just zip right through a bad guy. The ultimate sell defense choose is a Taurus 7 shot .38 special. – instructor in a class I took

  9. Funny!,,,,,, The pumping the action on a remington 870 did work for me once though. I was working late one night at my shop when someone was messing with the back door trying to get in, I grabbed my shotgun and racked it hard behind the door and heard those guys (probably kids) take off real quick. I’ve never heard the soles of shoes slap the pavement that hard before.

  10. My personal favorite:
    30-30 isn’t powerful enough for North American big game… You need this here 7mm Magnum, especially for whitetail.

    1. I grew up with a lot of guys who carried very hot rifle cartridges for white tail. Most of them couldn’t shoot for beans. The guys I know who were good shooters used mostly 30-30’s, 308’s etc. One guy even used a .243. Just about any high powered rifle cartridge will drop a deer with quality ammo and good shot placement.

  11. 1911 Fanboy: All-steel 5″ 1911s are the only way to go.
    Observer: Where’s your gun?
    1911 Fanboy: At home.

  12. “My gun is the only one in the world.” (When you see someone post an ad for a part or magazine, and they don’t bother to mention what gun it’s for, almost always it’s a 1911 or an AR.)

  13. 1. If it doesn’t start with .45, it’s not powerful enough.
    2. I have 00 in the tube, but birdshot in the chamber for warning shots!

    1. Equally matched by the folks that whine about .40. (“too snappy, blah blah blah.”)

      Half the Interwebz gun world seems to consist of primadonnas and special snowflakes with exacting personal requirements.

    1. Read exactly that by a “firearms expert” on another popular gun blog. He’s been called out on that kind of stuff before.

  14. Any overly positive review for a product/brand I don’t like is a (a)ad (b)infomercial (c) sellout

  15. m4 fanboys:
    The FN Scar is an over rated piece of shit. My AR will is just as good at half the price.
    My marine buddy told me the seals ditched the SCAR and went back to the M4 because the stocks kept braking off.
    My buddy serving in the sandpit said that nobody wants the SCARs because their junk and they brake all their sights.
    I heard that no one likes to use them in shooting competitions because the barrels mysteriously shift. lol

    While Im at it, “That new (insert product name here) is the best ever. I mean it has to be the most amazing thing ever since all the SEAL teams are using it” lol says the SEAL team fanboy.

    1. You realize most of the stuff you said about the SCAR is actually documented right. There is a reason the SMUs ditched it and went to HKs.

  16. Harry Selby killed an Elephant with a .270 winchester. a .22 LR in the eye of any creature swell certainly contain any situation. Hopefully there is a little Selby in ya somewhere.

  17. Tactical fanboy logic:

    On competition: The streets aren’t competition, you don’t understand.

    Yeah, because speed, accuracy, and cover have never saved anyone one – yet your tactical beard has stopping power.

  18. “ARs/1911s/Berettas/Glocks suck for the same reason you girlfriend sucks: they’re damn dirty whores”.

  19. “A woman who doesn’t have the hand-strength to rack the slide of a semi-auto will have no problem pulling the trigger on a double-action revolver”.

    Convsersely, “A woman who doesn’t have the hand-strength to pull the trigger on a double-action revolver will have no problem loading rounds into a magazine and racking the slide of a semi-auto pistol”.

  20. -“(Newly designed Gun Y) looks so totally kewl!! It has to be the best, most accurate, and most reliable gun ever!!! Because it looks sooo kewl!!!”

    -“(Gun Y) was so totally awesome in “Call of RainbowStrike XIX”. It must be totally awesome in real life!!”

    -“Guns, Ads and Junkets” awarded (Gun Y) the monthly ‘Uber-Super Gun of Liek Evaaah!!’ award!!! Best Gun of Liek Evaaah!!! Squeeeeeeee!!!!”

    -“The dude at the gunshop said he carried (Gun Y) when he was an Israeli Delta Ranger Seal in Vietnam. So Awesome.”

    “Dude, how dare you give (Gun Y) a bad review!! You’re just a total hater, Dude!”

  21. AR fanboys:” all AK’s are crap, can only hit things at 50 yards, they very inaccurate.. ” Uhm yeah, tell that to the LAV, Travis Haley and Mike Pannone.

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