1. Don’t worry. The contents of cellphone batteries are only harmful to Californians. Even the French are immune.

  1. Would have been better if you’d had it flung at you and you caught it in mid-air.

  2. I have some hard drives I need to destroy for work. You just gave me some ideas.

  3. A 45 would have blown the phone apart and transferred all of your contacts at the same time.

  4. I mean, who besides my boss’s boss uses one? If it had been an iPhone, even my beloved .357 would have bounced right off.

  5. I don’t know if you can mix a terminator quote, and Star Wars quote in the same breath? I think you may have violated the Genova convention.

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