Epic Tactical Derp

I posted this video yesterday on my fan page, but it’s so amazing I wanted to repost it today for my readers. I present to you, Marshal Training Academy.

My favorite bits from the video are the gangsta-style retention shooting and when the guy jams a loaded gun down the front of his pants. However, the very best moment in the video is when the three dudes all riverdance their slides back into batter in a beautiful sequence. Next stop, Broadway!

But seriously people, just use the slide release. It’s right there.

Their Tactical Rescue video is pretty amazing as well. Wait for the Hondo roll at 1:30…


  1. Obviously my tactical training isn’t nearly tactical enough, but why in the name of all that is holy would you charge a guy who has a knife out, and leave your gun on your belt? I realize it adds like 5 man points to get holes poked in you, but really I’d just rather poke holes in him instead.

  2. Both vids are packed full of awesome sauce. Having had training from a top level instructor, I emplore all readers here to stay away from these goobers. These are the type of guys who blow thru 300 rounds in their 15 min range sesh and want you to pay them to do the same. Hell, in one of the AR manipulation waltz’s you can see one of the “instructors”, totally denying his sights any attention. Friggin’ mule kick in the ass to forward Hondo roll…

  3. If the guy has just taken a knee and can climb himself into the fireman’s carry for you, he’s probably just winded and needs to suck it up and run his own butt out of danger.

  4. i dont even know where to begin. this might be the most incredibly stupid “tactical” school i have ever seen. the amount of retardation has left me in, what can only be described as TBI, and it hurts to think now

  5. My my. Why would you go to slide lock then scan and assess (other than being totally out of ammo)?

    I also like how the cat lost his ears during the Hondo roll but drove on to assault his hearing with live fire. He is OAF. I guess training is important to that guy. Maybe his wife only lets him train 2 hours a month or something and he has to get his money’s worth.

  6. “One Hand Upside Down Defense”
    …the mind boggles. But then, maybe I’m just not operator enough to understand why the hell you’d ever do that, being a silly “gamer” and all.

    I half-expected to see SAPI plates duct-taped to their backs.

  7. The sad thing is, I have seen other similar stupidity elsewhere online. There are, apparently, a number of training groups out there doing this kind of nonsense. There must be many new shooters out there just waiting to be taken advantage of. Very sad.

  8. Oh. My. Gawd.

    I’d comment on their video and ask what was the point of all that nonsense, but I’m afraid an instructor or alumnus would actually try to tell me there *was* a point.

    My faith in the collective IQ of the human species is hanging by a thread already.

    1. As a friend of mine likes to say, “Think about how dumb the average person is… then realize that half are even dumber.”

  9. Please excuse my ignorance (and dignifying of the video) but how’s he racking the slide at 1:11 in the first video?

    1. No problem. He’s doing it with physics (and probably a really light or worn out recoil spring). He jerks the gun rapidly to the rear, and then equally rapidly reverses the direction of his hand, toward the front. Physics keeps the slide going backwards until its inertia is overcome by the recoil spring (or it hits the limit of travel), at which point the recoil spring sends it back forward, chambering a round and putting it into battery.

  10. Please excuse my ignorance — and dignifying of the video — but how’s he racking the slide at 1:11 in the first video?

  11. OK, these guys scare me but a serious question,

    Has anyone seen their website? marshallsecurityca.com

    It appears that they are a (legit?) security company, and even have bloody patrol cars in California. Seriously are these tools allowed to carry and drive around California with pistols, shotguns and rifles? Are there any rules for what a security guard can carry, >10 round mags, “assault” rifles etc?

  12. Nobody knows? Or should the question not be asked? I just can’t see/understand what’s happening there, but I’m sure someone can tell me. Thanks!

  13. Sorry Matt… I looked at that part of the comment thread and all I saw was that darn double post of mine! Appreciate your timely and informative answer. It was sort of looking to me as you described it, but it just didn’t compute… any slide I’ve tried to rack requires significant opposing force, but it makes sense with your explanation.

  14. Sorry, late to this party.

    OK, Wipe Out by the Surfaris is on the lab radio and it is the perfect sound track to the second vid.

    So it seems that we have left Gun Culture 1.0 waaay behind, have blasted past Gun Culture 2.0, and now we are into Gun Culture 3.0 – Where you not only need to be able to quick draw your Glock 9mm and cloverleaf 5 targets at 50m in the blink of an eye (or you shouldn’t even think about carrying, dammit!!) but one must also be an Odd Job shaped shaven headed ‘roid raging sausage-necked maniac, sorry I meant Instructor, with a ‘system’ to be considered proficient with a firearm. How many more of these wank companies are there….Jeez.

    I await their response to your posts eagerly, Caleb.

    Cheers – Rusty

      1. I had a guy at a gun show try to sell me one of those badges, except his said “Licensed Concealed Permit Holder.”

        I told him I wasn’t interested in impersonating a police officer.

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