Last week’s “Dear Gabby” inspired some follow up questions so I’d like to address those, and I hope other female readers will chime in, to help the guys gain some clarity on this issue.
Some women have discovered that yes, the range is a great place to meet men. Other women feel that because they are serious about shooting, they will not mix flirting and firearms. There is, however a third group of ladies, those that both, take shooting seriously, but would also be happy to meet a gun guy they could call their own.
I’ll use myself as an example. There’s no question I’m serious about guns. Yes, I show up to the range with my colorful gear and a big smile on my face, but that’s because I love the gun world, not because I don’t take it seriously. To complicate this example, I have been known to accept some date offers but not others, from men I have met while shooting. (I did not, however, date customers while working as a range employee, that was a line I chose to draw.)
So why did I turn some guys down? In most cases the guys asking were not random. I had met them more than a few times, and gotten to know them a little. They didn’t get a “yes” from me because, other than guns, I didn’t feel we had much in common. Sure, I enjoyed the gear talk and sharing the latest tips, but I didn’t get the “spark” necessary to take it further than friendship.
I doubt getting turned down is anyone’s favorite outcome, when asking someone out, but that doesn’t mean guys shouldnt try. They just need to be smart about it. Here is what I know for sure:
• Single girls at the range don’t mind being asked out.
• Single girls do mind being asked out repeatedly (especially after they’ve said no thank you).
• We go to the range because there is a lot to be learned from chatting with you knowledgeable, long-time shooters. However, just because we appreciate your wisdom, doesn’t mean we owe you anything ie a date.
• No one should ever lie about thier shooting abilities just to spend “quality” time with another.
• Chauvinist pigs, those who are lazy about safe gun handling and “handsy” “instructors” need not apply.
Ladies- Has a guy ever missed the hint at the range?
Guys- Not sure whether to go for it?
Let’s discuss in the comments…Happy Hump Day!
There was a woman I shot with several times at local matches and she ended up asking me out. It is a great relationship.
Don’t leave us hanging… What happened next?
Wow it’s hard to say how a guy could know if I were interested, I do see quite a few attractive guys while in the parking lot or waiting for my lane but I have to say once I’m in my lane the opportunity will have to wait until I’m done because I’m not really paying attention to the guys at that juncture.
While outside or waiting, I do the typical, eye contact, smile, maybe make small chit chat. I usually just figure guys aren’t there to meet girls so more than likely a range isn’t where I’m going to meet my next boyfriend (granted that would be pretty ideal for me).
What do u think guys? Are you too busy focusing on shooting when you’re at the range? Or are you just unsure how to approach a gun girl?
My assumption is, you get both kinds at the range…
Well, clearly while i’m in my lane and shooting all focus is on the task at hand but if I’m there with someone else and waiting till my next turn I’m more than happy to chat it up with any friendly ladies who may be waiting also. Does it get any better than meeting someone of the opposite sex doing something you both really enjoy??!! It makes for stress free, easy going relax conversation plus you already have something you both enjoy in common!
Well put!
I’d probably not approach someone just at the local pay indoor ranges. You’re usually either a) waiting for a lane or b) busy on your lane. I don’t really talk to any of the other guys there, either. At the membership only outdoor range I go to you’re much more likely to have a little bit of a conversation, but nothing too serious.
The real socializing happens at shooting events – Steel Challenge, IDPA, USPSA. There’s a lot of standing around doing nothing while everyone else shoots, you get to know people a little bit. If I were still single I’d have no problem asking a girl out to dinner after one of those days.
At the range and club I used to work at, it was open to the public, but had a strong group of members. They treated it like any other club, hanging out all day, making friends… At least that’s how it is in GA!
pretty is as pretty does think about what that means it almost always runs true that goes both ways
Dear Gabby,
Please help, I’m not sure what to do. When we first starting going out, he would take me over to his friends and out to shooting ranges fairly regularly, even showing me off a bit. He used to wrap his strong arms and hands around me, even hug me in public once in a while.
Lately though, he seems to be going out more and more without me. Recently, he went out to the range, left me at home only for me to find out later that he was with someone else. I mean just because she has a nice pair of 38’s shouldn’t be any reason to just leave me at home in the dark and not say a thing.
I’m starting to worry that I’ve been used just until he could move on to something bigger and better. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Lonely .22
(Sorry Gabby, I couldn’t resist! Dann in Ohio – http://godgalsgunsgrub.blogspot.com)
Dann, you’re a goof!
I’d say I’m unsure of how to approach a gun girl. Sure I’m there to shoot, but if she catches my attention? It defaults to: I don’t know if she is in a relationship (Though obviously rings/shooting with a man are huge indicator there), and thus I would have a bit of hesitation with approaching her. I’d hate to look like a jerk trying to hit on a girl at the range, because I’ve seen plenty of guys do that when I worked at an indoor range, and most of those guys were classless.
as long as you approach with class and respect, I doubt she will shoot you down…
try this line, “Hey, what are you shooting?”
Is that supposed to be a pun “I doubt she will shoot you down….” lol. If it wasn’t sorry I got a bit of a chuckle from it.
I didn’t set out to do it, but I knew it when I done did it! Thanks
That’s always a conundrum there, are they “with” that person or just with the person. I see a lot of male/female combo shooting on a lane and most of the time I can kind of tell by body language if they are a couple or not but that’s just me. I agree though, I would feel pretty hesitant to approach someone if they were there with someone else because who knows what the dynamics are and I wouldn’t want to feel the fool or step on any toes. I almost always go with a male friend because I don’t have any female friends that shoot that live in my town. I did notice the one time my sister reluctantly agreed to go shooting I noticed a lot more guys looking at us and smiling, whereas when I’m with a guy, there is a quick glance and that’s it. I plan on making my first attempt at going alone next week, I’m not scared, I just haven’t had time to go hit ladies days at one of the ranges.