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  1. A Memorial Album has been announced:

    MICHAEL JACKSON’S GREATEST HITS

    Volume 1
    Side One
    1. Reach out and TOUCH Someone
    2. Hey, there, Predator
    3. Touch Me Once, Touch Me Twice, Touch Me Once Again
    4. The Best Toys are Little Boys
    5. The WACKO Touch

    Side Two
    1. Theme from Peter Pervert
    2. He TOUCHED Me
    3. He Let His Fingers Do the Walking (In Private Places)
    4. Come Open My FLY With Me
    5. Theme from Woody The Pecker

    Volume 2
    Side One
    1. Feeler
    2. Put Your Hand in The Pants of Michael Jackson
    3. Peter Pervert
    4. The Boy Who Made Me Throw Up
    5. Beat it and Eat It

    Side Two
    1. Full Moon at High Noon
    2. I’m Dropping My Drawers Over You
    3. I’m A Pervert
    4. I’m Queer, I’m Not All Here
    5. Groping the World

    THE BEAST (BEST) OF MICHAEL JACKSON
    Side One
    1. It Was Masturbation
    2. Feelings
    3. Dance of the Pedophiles
    4. Molesters’ March
    5. That Queer Old Feeling

    Side Two
    1. Meat Beater’s Lament
    2. Jack Off Jive
    3. Those Roving Fingers
    4. NUTcracker Suite
    5. Peter Pervert’s Theme

  2. * Michael Jackson will not be cremated. Since he’s mostly plastic, he will be melted down into legos so kids can play with him for a change.

    * Breaking news…They found out what killed Michael Jackson…He ate 12 year old nuts.

    * Farrah Fawcett went to heaven yesterday & was told she got one wish – she told God that she wished all of the children could be safe — so God killed Michael Jackson.

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