Military Jokes

Inspired by Rusty, who made me actually laugh out loud this morning.

Q: How does a Marine say “helicopter”?
A: *points at the sky and grunts “ung-ung-ung”*

Q: Why did the Coast Guard change the height requirement to 6 feet tall?
A: So if your boat sinks, you can walk back to shore without getting your head wet.

Q: Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a Navy wife?
A: Not every Coastie has been in a Ferrari!

Q: How many Army guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: A whole regiment – the stand around debating the tactics on how to do it for days and days, launch three abortive missions, and eventually call the Marines to do it for them.

Q: What is difference between the Boy Scouts and the U.S. Air Force?
A: The Boy Scouts have adult supervision. The Air Force has pilots.

I have a whole RAFT of these jokes.


  1. I forwarded these to my ex-Marine father and he took the ribbing intra-service and comments “Actually, we never look at helicopters flying, because we don’t want to be a witness when it crashes.”

  2. True story:

    My father was at lunch trading jokes with friends at ComSat Labs and told a few poignant ones about the US Marine Corps… which were overheard by an retired Marine who worked there. This guy, a big guy who looked everything like you’d think a Marine would, later went to my father’s desk, looked down at him, and angrily demanded to know of my father:

    “R–, were you ever in the Military?”

    My father’s answer was immediate:

    “No sir, I was in the Air Force.”

  3. Hahahaha, yeah. So true about the Air Force.

    The Air Force is so backwards that – unlike the others – the officers go to war and the enlisted sit around and watch.

    I was in the Air Force, and while it’s a fine branch, it has it’s faults like every other branch and some.

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