Police arrived at the scene at around 7:15 p.m., and walked the entire length of the cemetery through the snow, reported the South Bend Tribune. Upon finding the location, they lifted the hat off the body to find a pumpkin instead of a human head.
I kid, I kid SBPD. It was cold up there the other day, and the “entire length of the cemetery” in the snow and cold cannot have been pleasant. In fact, I can imagine the officers now…
Cop 1: I swear to god, there had better be a dead body out here. I had finally gotten the heat to the right temperature in my car.
Cop 2: Sarge, over here, I found it!
Cop 1: Thank god. Alright, check him for…wait…lift up his hat.
Cop 2: Uh…it’s a pumpkin, Sarge.
Cop 1: SON OF A B*TCH.
You know, I take that back. It probably went more like “Hey Rookie, go check that cemetery for a dead body. I’m going to wait here and…uh…monitor the radio.”