Protip: Don’t "drag ‘em inside"

Have you ever heard the one from the gun store commando? It goes “shoot ’em outside and drag ’em inside”, the idiotic logic behind that being that the fuzz aren’t going to prosecute you if the body is inside the house. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together and make a spark should know why that’s a dumb idea. Unfortunately for her, a woman in Michigan was apparently lacking the brain cells, and is now learning why moving the bodies is a bad idea.

Gardner and Johnson said it was then that the woman forced the second robbery suspect to drag the gravely wounded man onto her enclosed porch and then kick in the door to make it appear the robbers were trying to break into her home. She held the second suspect for police. Only then did she call 911 to report a break-in and a shooting, Gardner said.But after police arrived, they found “drag marks” leading to her front porch and other evidence that indicated she likely wasn’t telling the truth, according to Gardner.

In the end, investigators got acknowledgment that the incident occurred in the driveway and that the two men were allegedly robbing her because “she is a drug dealer and she was supposed to have had a large amount of money with her,” Gardner said.

The story previously mentions that the woman is being charged with being a felon in possession of a firearm, and possession with intent to distribute. I have a couple of thoughts on this particular incident

Thought One – Don’t shoot people outside and drag them inside. Cops are not stupid and will probably figure that one out. This woman’s shooting probably would have been completely justified otherwise, but she had to go and screw around with the scene and lie to the cops about it.

Thought Two – This is actual gun crime – two scumbags decide to rob another scumbag and one of them ends up shot. I would be very surprised if the drug dealer that did the shooting had obtained her firearm legally. I would be equally surprised if her would-be assailants were legally in possession of their firearms.

Thought Three – Nice shooting. A small caliber in the right place will get the job done; one round to the forehead and attacker number one was out of the fight.

The most important thought I’d like to take away from this wonderful little object lesson is that if you are ever in a self defense situation and are forced to plug someone, do not lie to the cops. Don’t plant a knife on the guy, don’t alter the scene, and don’t lie to the cops. I suppose the corollary lesson would be “don’t be a drug dealer”.

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