I also have a tiny penis

Come on, how often can you get away with writing that? According to criminal profiler Pat Brown, the mere fact that I own guns is a sign that I’m a potential psychopath. If I were to complete the uncomplimentary stereotyping, I should also point that I have guns because I’m compensating for my tiny penis, my short stature, and my feelings of inadequacy.

Also, in addition to liking guns, I also really like airplanes; as well as all of the above I’m also compensating for my lack of personal wings and the ability to fly under my own power.

Oh my god. I just realized – my whole life has been nothing but compensation! My cars? I’m compensating for the fact that I can’t run at 75 mph! I was always envious of that bastard the Flash. My clothes? I’m compensating for the fact that my body doesn’t produce enough hair to warm myself in the winter!

MY GOD…MY WHOLE LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A WEB OF LIES AND FALSE COMPENSATION! WHY GOD, WHY?!

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