From Zero to Crazy

In no time flat!

I landed here by way of RNS, I was doing a bit of clickfest to kill some time this morning, but this guy is a gem. As in, a crazy, crazy gem.

After waiting for one hundred traffic lights I saw to my right a big yard, maybe a park. I pulled around, down the lane, hurried out and got on one knee and dry-heaved on the front lawn of the First Congregational Church of Madison.

You would think the yard would be filled with folks leaning out their windows, beside their cars, on both knees, hurling — to see this sight.

This humongous white church: six pillars on the front porch that two strong men could not reach around and touch pinky fingers.

And behind the pillars, blowing in the breeze. Of course, a gigantic American flag.

I’m not really sure what’s so vomit inducing about an American flag at a church, but then again I’m not crazy. He also mentions one of the reasons that he hates America as “Indiana”; unfortunately he doesn’t enumerate further the reasons he hates my current state of residence. Too bad.

Fortunately, the crazy doesn’t abate, in fact it gets stronger.

And I can’t get into Canada because I am not rehabilitated from my jail terms in the 1980s. I sent in a crossed-out tax form before I left to protest against Bush & Cheney & Rove killing all those Americans on 9-11. I will soon be wanted in New York State for not paying a stay in your own lane buddy ticket. I did not pay my parking ticket in Iowa City a few weeks ago. And now I am wanted in Rhode Island for failure to appear.

I don’t even know what he’s talking about here, other than he has a history of breaking the law. Because we all know that disregarding the law makes you a perfect example of how to resist the government.

Can you imagine what secrets about the current government wait to be revealed? Some that perhaps connect the killings of the 1960s with today’s headlines?

Trying to tie the current administration to the Kennedy assassination seems like a bit of a reach, even for the tinfoil hat team. But then, I am squarely rebuffed!

“There are no tinfoil hats. These people are capable of anything.”

By “these people” he means “the gubbmint” and “anything” he means “stuff I make up.” Awesome. I love crazy conspiracy theorists; they’re so much fun.

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