As you might have seen in my previous post, I’m currently in Virginia beach for a “vacation” of sorts, if by vacation I mean “shuttling bridesmaids around and picking up strangers at the airport.”
However, last night was the bachelorette party, and by a strange twist of fate I was in attendance, which probably had nothing to do with the fact that Mrs. Ahab is the Matron of Honor. Oh, and before I continue, this one is for SailorCurt. As much as I’d like to grab some coffee, between all the sundry duties assigned by Mrs. Ahab and the bride, I’m barely finding enough time to go to the bathroom. I’m writing this entry from my Blackberry in fact.
So anyway, on to the story of last night. At this bachelorette party, I learned many valuable lessons, that I would like to share with my dear readers.
1. The Assistant General Manager of Jillian’s is apparently god-like in his authority, and telling him that I’m waiting for my wife to finish peeing while they’re closing up is grounds for him threating to call the cops.
2. “Navy Bar” is also a synonym for “sausage fest” and possibly “cock forest”.
3. Riding mechanical bulls is a lot harder than it looks.
4. Girls riding mechanical bulls is way hotter than guys riding mechanical bulls.
5. Male british sailors are a lot more “touchy-feely” with each other than American sailors.
6. German marines think mechanical bulls are the coolest things in the world.
7. Do not drive through Richmond, VA on your way to Virginia Beach the same day the Queen of England is visiting Richmond; that is of course unless you like seeing a cop every mile of highway for 20 miles.
8. Never, ever, ever, drink the generic whiskey. God.
9. Wearing a Red Sox hat will win you both friends and enemies.
So, as you can tell, I’m having a fabulous time; full of fun and entertainment. The wedding is tomorrow, right now I’m hoping to get back to the hotel and steal just enough time for a workout.