Ode to a steak

Welcome to Ahab’s poetry hour! I will occasionally subject you poor bastards to the horrifying vivisections I perform on the English language that I try t...

Gun movies

Ahab Goes to the Movies! Well, not really. I actually loathe the bloody theaters, filled as they are with surly, rude teenagers; however I do love movies. You m...

Global Community

If the world really was a “global community”… America would be the director of the neighborhood watch. Canada would be the neighbor with the r...