Is it guns, or the guys I date?

dating guns and menI’ve noticed a trend in my life. As a single girl, I occasionally meet men who ask me out. (Keep reading, that’s not the trend…) Most of these men only stay in my life for a meal or two, sometimes even less (coffee dates). However, the ones that stick around for a little while longer, tend to be pretty engrossed in the gun world. This would make sense if I were hanging out at the gun range all the time, or meeting them only in the sporting goods stores. But I happen to be visiting both of these locations even less than the average person ought to, let alone a gun blogger, so I’m perplexed.

Guns are not the end all and be all of my world. I have a great deal of interests. I love animals. I do all sorts of crafting activities, and enjoy cooking and gardening. When I have a little extra time, I’m just as likely to go camping, as try a new restaurant. I set aside some of my weekly hours to volunteer with an organization with which I connect spiritually. Yet, over the past two years, the men who have come into my life for more than one date, were more than just tolerant of my passion for firearms, they shared it.

There are plenty of passionate people in the world. I know women who are chefs and even when not cooking, their lives center around food. I’ve met artists who create beautiful works of art and get paid to do so! Yet their significant others, would barely claim hobbies that relate to these pursuits. Conversely, I’ve had conversations with gun loving women as well as new lady shooters, and only once, did a woman tell me that her man was blasé toward firearms.

I’m not complaining, and I wouldn’t expect to get involved with a gun hating man, but while I have friends who are gun tolerant, yet, disinterested, my dating life consists predominantly of serious gun nuts.
Would this be the case, if I were a guy gun blogger? I venture to say, no.
Does having guns as a hobby make me a different kind of person?
Is enjoying shooting indicative of a certain type of man or woman?

33 thoughts on “Is it guns, or the guys I date?”

  1. Might be the guys interested in guns are more interested when they find a girl that shares that same interest?
    Could be non gun owner guys don’t know how to deal with a girl into guns.
    Maybe it takes away their role of the protector…

    1. Can relate to everything you’re proposing, but why is this so different from from a girl who is passionate about football?

      1. when i was younger i worked at a 5 star hotel as a sous chef … i am now a firearms instructor and network engineer i take dates to the range and cook for them, there are a lot of women who like shooting and i find i would rather date them then an anti-gun person because most of the time if they don’t like guns they refuse to even listen to what you have to say about why they are fun and the perfect protection tool when you need one

  2. I’d guess the gunnies are excited by the prospect of being with another gunny…it can have a strong appeal, but as you mention, my interpretation is that they’re a bit obsessed with them. Maybe the firearms scare some off, while the appeal of an attractive woman who likes firearms is enticement to try to stick around longer, but then get confused when you have more to your life than that.

    I can see a bit of it myself, even being a married male…I’ve got a great local gun club, but besides hanging out at the range, there are very few members who I’d hang out with for other activities. My eclectic set of interests makes it difficult to find much more than one activity in common with any group (I once commented to my wife that I’m likely the only person in our town who meditates before reloading ammunition…). My wife ended up not being into shooting, but has some willingness to try it out, and understands and tolerates my interest, but we connect well on many of our other interests. So hang in there, be honest with yourself, and I don’t doubt that a proper gentleman will be along for you shortly.

    1. I’m sure reloading is a form of meditation for many people. My sewing machine has that effect on my.

      But I sense that for a gun guy to be with a woman who isn’t a shooter is far more “typical” than the reverse, why do you think that might be?

      Also, no need to “hang in there”. I’m enjoying all my gun guys, dates, friends & fans.

      1. I apologize: nothing meant by ‘hang in there’ beyond keep having fun with what you’re doing (which really isn’t in my prerogative to recommend in the first place)…in retrospect my original words sound…not quite what I was meaning.

        I’m wondering if it’s the aspect of the male psyche that has certain ‘roles’ in their head that they believe they should be good at, and are intimidated by a woman who can do it better…whether they’re a shooter or not? But it’s an interesting observation…of the women I know well who are shooters, most have (or had) a significant other involved in shooting, with only one exception…a tiny single mother of two who ended up with a penchant for .44 magnums.

        I have to wonder if it’s more than just the shooting…perhaps personality types if you buy into that? I recall one informal survey a while back among a bunch of shooters to discuss their Meyers-Briggs personality type indicator…the vast majority were INTx, with a pretty even split between the J and P which represents a whopping 4 or 5ish percent of the population. Females in those traits are even more rare…the least common of them, and are probably fairly perplexing to any male they run into.

      2. I’ve had much the same problem in reverse. I was never able to find a nice Jewish girl who could put up with my shooting/gun obsession. Where were you 30 years ago.

      1. You must not get out much then, because people who enjoy guns say “gunnies” all the time. But thanks for your useless contribution to this thread!

  3. You’re pretty famous for your work with firearms. It makes sense that the guys you meet will be drawn to that.

    Also, I think that most guys who aren’t anti-gun are strongly pro-gun. I doubt there’s as much middle-of-the-road attitude towards guns among guys as among girls. Just my observation; I have no real supporting data. But it means that the pool of ‘guys who will date a professional gun girl’ is probably very pro-gun.

    That said, my best advice (as someone who married late) is to make it very clear from the beginning that guns are only one facet of your life, and that you do have other interests. Some of your dates may be relieved that they can do something other than get out-gunned by their date…

    1. I’m sorry, after I read your first sentence I dropped my iPad! Thank you! You just made my day, heck, my month! I gotta go call my mother!!!!

  4. There is a difference, not sure why exactly, think it may be a number of sometimes related factors. I am a single male now and have found that the two biggest deal breakers for meeting and dating are smoking and owning guns or weapons. Wish I could/would have met a female gun owner who actually occasionally shoots, (not someone who has a gun that they bought or someone bought for them years ago for protection and they haven’t touched it in years). It’s odd, I haven’t had a shortage of dates or relationships even, though smoking knocks out 90 percent of potential dates. But it feels like though many women I have met like the idea that I live in the country, like the idea that I own guns, or like the idea that I ride a motorcycle – when it comes to reality they find that they feel uncomfortable with it. The country sounds idyllic til you live their and feel isolated, guns sound macho til you have to see and hear them shot or the guy spends time with them and you are uncomfortable around them, and the motorcycle is cool until you feel too scared to ride with him or worry he’ll get killed. As per your shoes, many men I know that aren’t into guns are intimidated by guns, scared of guns, feel gun ownership is a mark of cultural or moral inferiority, or like the “idea” of a strong independent woman but not the reality. Hope you explore this more, it would be interesting to learn more what the differences or reason are.

  5. I’ve been considering getting back into the dating world since it’s been awhile and I’ve been wondering how that is going to go, if the guys I meet will be okay with my love shooting or against it or like me enjoying it. I’ve debated whether I would even mention my love and just play it out and see where it goes. I met one guy once since getting seriously into guns and he wasn’t not keen on it at all but that didn’t bother me either and maybe that’s because I wasn’t looking to get involved with the guy.

    I don’t think it would be a bad thing to be with a guy who likes guns as much as me but who knows that opinion might change if I were to date a guy that was. I definitely think it would be better than dating a guy who was totally against guns.

    1. First of all, welcome back!! Plenty of people hate dating and the “scene”, but its not that bad if you can bring a positive attitude.

      Try this, as you meet men, and begin to date, don’t make mentioning your interest in guns, like dropping a bomb. For some, it will come up early on, for others it may not. Wait till the timing is right and then include it in your list of hobbies.

      Good luck and keep us posted!!

      1. Good sound advice, thank you.

        I look forward to hearing about your trials in this area of life 😉

    2. My daughter grew up shooting with my son (now in the military). My wife learned to shoot while we were dating. ok , that brief background done. when my daughter first started dating her current boyfriend , he had never fired a gun . He was a little intimidated at first especially when he saw the skills that she has with her favorite .22 pistol. She asked me to teach him how to shoot and now he has gotten his first rifle. We shoot as a family now . His main passion is cars but is willing to go shooting whenever my daughter wishes. After 25 years of marriage my wife doesnt go shooting as often but she does support my interest in the shooting sports .my sons wife has also become as intereted in guns as the rest of my family. My son thinks it has helped make another bond between them. My granddaughter got her first day at the range last week. I raise mine to be strong and self sufficient. Within the last 6 months I have been asked by 5 female family members to be taught how to shoot for self defense and now a couple are interested in joining our shooting outings for fun. I guess I am trying to say some guys may be a little intimidated by a self sufficient girl but if they can be shown how much fun it is to learn , they wont feel threatened.

  6. You know, the guy in your picture there lives close enough to Atlanta if you want to meet him. I can make an introduction if you’d like.

  7. The answer is simple. Many guys want to be the “manly man” in the relationship and are intimidated by strong women. Gun toting women threaten their security, not in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense. Gun toting men don’t have that problem because they’re toting too, and can maybe even brag about how you shoot sissy 9’s while they shoot manly 45’s or whatever. In short, you reduce their masculinity by being interested in something as traditionally macho as firearms. Sexist, yes, but there it is.

      1. I agree with Caleb, though I might have said it differently. Men don’t get intimidated by women. Yes, we can sometimes emasculate them, by diminishing the value of their ability to do “masculine” things, but I don’t know too many guys who would rule out a woman, simply because she was a good shot.

        That being said, if she had a chip on her shoulder and assumed that guys would be intimidated by her skills…. I could see how that might turn a guy off.

        1. Thanks, Gabby, for being constructive. I think you misunderstand my point (because I didn’t make it very well 🙂 ). I’m not saying that gun guys are intimidated by gun ladies, I’m saying that NON-gun guys are intimidated by gun ladies. You strike me as an attractive, fun lady with many varied interests. It’s true that gun guys would naturally gravitate toward you because you’re awesome in that world. But, so should any guy who likes attractive, fun ladies in general. If they don’t, there’s only so many logical explanations. I do agree that the right guy is out there…you just have to keep turning stones.

          1. No, I understood you, but I still think it depends on the presentation. Gun girls don’t have to be grunting spitting macho bitches. On the contrary, as I have said before, guns have allowed me to express more of my inner girly girl. Caleb’s fiancé, (if I may) is a media mogul, an awesome shot, and an all around bad ass… (Who happens to love rainbows and unicorns.)

            I do believe in traditional gender roles in relationships, because I think somewhere in our DNA a man needs to feel a little like a hunter gatherer and a woman has to nurture. SO, no matter if he’s a gun guy or not, a fella is going to have to accept this about me, along with my passion for guns.

        2. “Yes, we can sometimes immaculate them,…”

          Sure you didn’t mean “emasculate” ?

          The photo of the Lounge Lizard on his baby blue
          bed reminds of at least something “immaculate”,
          and something that’s going to cause some sleepless
          nights for a while !

  8. Your passion for guns have nothing to do with long-term dating prospects. It’s only a medium to meet people and connect with guys on some level. Since you’re very passionate about guns, you will easily meet people who share this commonality. If you extrapolate your dating history, I believe that you date gun nuts longer term because more of them ask you out.

    If you want my opinion on what leads to a long term relationship, I will tell you it is familiarity and I place a heavy emphasis on the “family” part of that word. Families provide the first baseline of a what a person considers normal and comfortable. It may change later in life, but your emotions will never detach from the things about your family that made you feel safe and whole. It is these things that a person will always seek out in a mate whether they know it or not.

  9. I don’t know about the hunter gather DNA in men. Many of us are builder creators. Which means we also like to destroy in spectacular fashion. And rebuild and redestroy ad infinitum in multiple calibers. Perhaps you appeal the the builder/destroyer in men?

  10. I’ve always been attracted to strong folks and strong ladies in particular. And I’ve noticed over the years that strong or competent folks tend to congregate. Perhaps that’s why you seem to have more success with competent guys. It’s not the guns, it’s the competence. Heck, always thought that a lady who subscribes to Backwoods Home would be more my type. Perhaps they should start a personals section on their website.

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