Who's on first?

From the comments at Tam’s, where she notes that if Glock comes out with a .22 LR caliber pistol and keeps with their naming conventions, it will be the Glock model 40.  Reader JB reproduced almost the entire “Who’s on First” skit but rewriting as dialog between Tam and I referencing the internal inconsistency in Glock’s naming and caliber conventions.  Here’s part of the skit, with the rest being after the jump because it’s LOOOOOONG.

Caleb: Well Tam, we’re here in Las Vegas, Nevada at the 2010 SHOT Show. You know Glock is showing off their newest pistol and I just finished talking with their National Sales Manager about it.
Tam: Well Caleb, if you were just talking with their rep, you must know all about it.
Caleb: I certainly do.
Tam: You know it’s been a while since I interviewed Gaston Glock for The Arms Room. So you’ll have to tell me about the new product, and then I’ll know what’s going on.
Caleb: Oh, I’ll tell you about the pistol, but you know it seems to me they give these things now-a-days very peculiar names.
Tam: You mean funny names?
Caleb: Strange names, pet names…like Miss Perfect…
Tam: How is it perfect if it misses?
Caleb: No, that’s the slogan.
Tam: A “slow gun” seems like a silly idea.
Caleb: Uh, it’s Scottish Gaelic for “battle cry”.
Tam: If it’s supposed to be Scottish, you want the Martini-Henry Mark III.
Caleb: Don’t need a martini, I have my coffee.
PAUSE
Caleb: Well, let’s see, we have on the table, the Glock Forty.
Tam: That barrel looks kind of small for a Glock .40.
Caleb: Uh, it just looks like a Glock Forty to me.
Tam: Did you really just talk with their sales rep?
Caleb: Yes.
Tam: You gonna be writing an article on this pistol for Gun Nuts?
Caleb: Yes.
Tam: And you don’t know what the pistol is?
Caleb: Well I should.
Tam: Well then this is the Glock .40?
Caleb: Yes.
Tam: I mean the type of pistol.
Caleb: Forty.
Tam: This gun right here.
Caleb: Forty.
Tam: The new gun from Glock.
Caleb: Forty.
Tam: The new gun…
Caleb: This is the Glock Forty!
Tam: I’m asking you if this is the Glock .40.
Caleb: That’s the gun.
Tam: That’s this gun?
Caleb: Yes.
Tam: Well go ahead and tell me how that’s true.
Caleb: That’s it. The Forty.
Tam: That’s the .40?
Caleb: Yes.
PAUSE
Tam: Look, does Glock produce a .40 pistol?
Caleb: Certainly.
Tam: It’s a Glock and it’s a .40?
Caleb: That’s right.
Tam: When I ask for a Glock .40 I would be handed this gun?
Caleb: That’s right.
Tam: All I’m trying to find out is what kind of Glock this is.
Caleb: Forty.
Tam: The gun is a .40…
Caleb: That’s it.
Tam: So if I want to shoot a .40…
Caleb: You can, right here. The Glock Forty.
Tam: This is the .40?
Caleb: Yes.
PAUSE
Caleb: What’s wrong with that?
Tam: Look, all I wanna know is when you ask for this gun in a store, what do you say?
Caleb: Glock Forty.
Tam: It’s a .40?
Caleb: The Glock Forty.
Tam: How is it a .40?
Caleb: That’s it. That’s the Forty.
Tam: .40?
Caleb: Yes.
PAUSE


Tam: All I’m trying to find out is how this pistol shoots .40s.
Caleb: No. You’re thinking of the Glock Twenty-Two.
Tam: I thought this was the Glock .22.
Caleb: The Glock Twenty-Two has been out for a long time.
Tam: I thought the Glock .22 was new!
Caleb: No, why would you say that? The new Glock is the Forty.
Tam: I thought those are twenty, not new.
Caleb: Of course not, Tam. Twenty isn’t .40. And the Forty is new.
Tam: I’m only asking you, is this the Glock .40?
Caleb: That’s right.
Tam: Ok.
Caleb: All right.
PAUSE

Tam: How is this the .40? It’s new.
Caleb: Yeah, the Forty is new.
Tam: I thought the .22 was new.
Caleb: The Glock Twenty-Two isn’t new.
Tam: I don’t know how old it is, since you said the .40 isn’t twenty?
Caleb: The Twenty is 10mm, we’re not talking about that.
Tam: Now how did we get to 10mm?
Caleb: Why you mentioned Twenty.
Tam: If I mentioned 20mm, is Glock producing an autocannon?
Caleb: No. This is their .22.
Tam: You said this is a .40.
Caleb: This is a Forty.
Tam: I don’t understand.
Caleb: This new gun is a Forty.
Tam: But it looks like a .22!
Caleb: All right, it is a full-size Glock, what does that have to do with it?
Tam: Now I’m supposed to believe this is a .40?
Caleb: Why do you insist this isn’t a Forty?
Tam: It looks like a .22.
Caleb: Sure, the frame size. But the Twenty-Two is old news.
Tam: You don’t want the .22 to be new news?
Caleb: Why would the Twenty-Two be new?
Tam: I don’t know. Glock never made a .22 before?
PAUSE
Tam: Look, you gotta .40 here?
Caleb: Sure.
Tam: This gun, what is it?
Caleb: The Glock Forty.
Tam: I just thought I’d ask again because this doesn’t make sense.
Caleb: Well, I just thought I’d tell ya again.
Tam: Then tell me, is this the Glock .40?
Caleb: This is the Glock Forty.
Tam: I’m not… don’t tell me this is the .40. This is the .22, right?
Caleb: No, this is the Forty.
Tam: I’m not asking you again. How this can be the .40?
Caleb: It’s the new Glock Forty!
PAUSE
Tam: This is supposed to be the Glock .40?
Caleb: Yes.
Tam: It’s the .22!
Caleb: No, why would it be the Twenty-Two?
Tam: Look, the big news this year is the Glock .22.
Caleb: No, it’s not.
Tam: This pistol is…?
Caleb: The Forty.
Tam: So you claim this is the Glock .40?
Caleb: I’m telling you this is the Glock Forty.
Tam: Its caliber is…?
Caleb: .22.
Tam: It can’t be the .40 if it’s the .22.
Caleb: It is.
Tam: How is that possible? Is it modular?
Caleb: Now listen. This is not modular. This is the Glock Forty.
Tam: I want to know how this is the Glock .40!
Caleb: That’s what it is.
Tam: You said it’s the .22!
Caleb: No. It’s the Forty.
Tam: So this is the Glock .40.
Caleb: Certainly.
Tam: This pistol is the new Glock .40?
Caleb: Yes, the new .22.
PAUSE
Tam: This is the Glock .40, the new .22?
Caleb: Now you’ve got it.
Tam: So it’s modular.
Caleb: No.
PAUSE
Tam: Say a gun store wants to stock this pistol-
Caleb: They can’t stock this.
Tam: They can’t stock this?
Caleb: That’s illegal.
Tam: How is it illegal for a store to stock this?
Caleb: The BATFE says so.
Tam: So this pistol isn’t for the general market?
Caleb: I never said that. Of course it is.
Tam: You said it’s illegal to stock this pistol.
Caleb: That’s right. Stocking it makes it illegal.
Tam: How can it be for the general market if stocking makes it illegal?
Caleb: Well, I guess you could get a permit to stock this.
Tam: You mean in California?
Caleb: No, I think anywhere in America.
Tam: So I can’t stock this without a permit.
Caleb: Right.
Tam: How am I supposed to buy it I need a permit to stock it?
Caleb: Well you can buy it before stocking it.
Tam: Uh, what?
Caleb: You buy it, then you get a permit before stocking it.
Tam: The buyer doesn’t stock it, the store stocks it.
Caleb: Then they need a permit.
Tam: They already have a permit!
Caleb: Then they can stock it.

Tam: Ok, so say a gun store wants to stock this pistol, when ordering they ask for the Glock .40?
Caleb: Well they should already have the Glock Forty.
Tam: But they want to stock it.
Caleb: Right, so they need a permit.
Tam: To stock the Glock .40?
Caleb: Well, to stock any Glock.
Tam: When did this happen?
Caleb: Requiring a permit to stock a pistol?
Tam: The store should already have a permit to stock pistols.
Caleb: Then what’s the problem?
PAUSE
Tam: Say I go to a store that has this gun stocked and I want to buy it. I’m supposed to ask the clerk for the Glock .40?
Caleb: That’s right. But you need a permit.
Tam: Since when do I need a permit to buy a Glock!?
Caleb: Well, since it’s stocked by the store.
Tam: That doesn’t make any sense. It’s not a Glock Eighteen.
Caleb: Of course not, it’s a Glock Forty.
Tam: But I need a permit to buy it?
Caleb: If it’s stocked, yes.
Tam: So if it’s stocked I can’t buy the pistol without a permit?
Caleb: Well it’s not really a pistol.
Tam: This, the Glock .40?
Caleb: No, the stocked Forty.
Tam: Well how is the one the store has different than this one?
Caleb: It’s stocked.
Tam: But what?
Caleb: The one the store has isn’t a pistol.
Tam: I thought it’s a Glock .40.
Caleb: That’s right.
Tam: So if I go to the store and ask for a Glock .40, they would sell me this pistol or not?
Caleb: Sure, no problem.
Tam: Well then how is it not a pistol?
Caleb: If it’s stocked it’s not a pistol.
Tam: So if the store has it stocked it’s not a pistol.
Caleb: Yeah, although it’s still a Glock Forty.
Tam: But what if I wanted to buy the new Glock .22?
Caleb: There is no new Glock Twenty-Two.
Tam: Listen. If I wanted to buy a .22, made by Glock, would I buy this pistol?
Caleb: If you want a Twenty-Two, you wouldn’t buy this pistol.
Tam: So someone in the market for a .22 wouldn’t buy this pistol.
Caleb: Exactly right.
Tam: So if I want a .22, I don’t ask for the Glock Forty?
Caleb: If you want a Twenty-Two, get a Twenty-Two, don’t get the Forty.
PAUSE
Caleb: I mean, it is a .40, but you know that.
Tam: What is a Forty? Is this a Forty?
Caleb: Well, no, this is not a .40.
Tam: This is not a Forty?
Caleb: No, it’s a .22.
Tam: I thought this is a Glock Forty, which is a .22?
Caleb: This is a Glock Forty, but that’s different than the Twenty-Two.
Tam: I don’t even know what we’re talking about! What’s coming out after this .40?
Caleb: Well I would logically expect the Glock Forty-One next.
Tam: If you’re going to shoot a .41 why not just use a .40?
Caleb: Well the Forty-One might be smaller than the Forty.
Tam: .41 is larger than .40.
Caleb: No, Forty-One should be smaller than Forty. Like the Twenty-Three is smaller than the Twenty-Two.
Tam: There is no .23! You mean the .223?
Caleb: The Twenty-Three is a .40, not a .233. Does anyone even make a .223 pistol?
Tam: Why do that when you can have a MGI QCB upper? But let’s go check the other booths.

4 thoughts on “Who's on first?”

  1. Bwahah! The Three Stooges would be proud.

    Also, this seems like a good reason to idiot-check your naming conventions before committing to them…

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